Oscar Wilde wrote (and I used to believe) that everything in the world is about sex, except sex; sex is about power.
It’s a very testosterone-ed vision of sexuality— valid, somewhat, but incomplete— and it’s worth remembering that Wilde lived in a world in which sexual secrecy and shame likely infused the act with an even more demented power. Famously, he was imprisoned for sodomy.
We don’t live in a moment where sodomy is criminalized (not anymore, and not yet again) but it seems the more anyone believes this aphorism, the more they will live it into truth.
Power, seen one way, is the obligation to trust that which is empowered. Sex, wildly simplified, is an exchange of trust. What Wilde’s quip misses is the humility inherent in desiring someone; it’s easy to overlook if you’re more focused on the power of being desired.