Birthdays

144 words

Children sometimes tack a “half” or a “three-quarters” onto their ages, but adults tend to avoid claiming additional years. This is the wrong idea, according to my friend Brenda, who insists that you should add decades when you lie about your age. 

“You’re sixty-four? You look fantastic!”

I, however, prefer to get a running start on saying my new age. I start rounding up months in advance. I want to be accustomed to the new number so it won’t surprise me when it arrives, so I never accidentally claim to be younger. Soon I’ll turn thirty-nine, but I’ve been saying thirty-nine since Christmas.

A woman once admonished me for this: “You’re the younger age right until the end, even that last day, even then!” 

Ok, I’m going to turn thirty-nine now. 

I’ll be right back. 

Alright, it’s over. I did it. 

I’m thirty-nine now.